Looking into a mirror is bittersweet for a mama (or anyone for that matter). Flaws and insecurities are written upon us yet they are invisible to the eyes of others. Without even realizing it, our “I should be, I wish I had, I wish I could be like, or I miss the way” thoughts become internally idolized, and it causes us to miss the bigger picture- gifted opportunities from God. It took me a while to realize my insecurities and my “wish I had” moments were building up a wall in front of me, and that kept me from stepping into the will of God.
Looking into the eyes of your little loved ones is the forever gift that God blessed you with to use for His glory. It was not until a couple of years ago when I learned that I am my own ministry. I am a ministry to my husband and my son (and future children). What God sees me through is what Andrew will see through me as his wife and what Christopher will see through me as his mom. That means that what God sees me through is how I can minister to my loved ones as God uses me to shape their lives.
“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.” 1 Corinthians 13:12, NLT
I do not remember where I was or how I found this verse, but it jumped out at me as if the Holy Spirit was saying, “This is what you need to take to heart.” Reading it took away a layer that was hiding the Truth that I desperately needed to hear.
A few years ago, I felt like I was not a good enough mama or wife because I felt like I lost my place. My battle was with myself as I struggled to meet expectations or be what society portrayed as a perfect wife and mama. I felt defeated, and that clouded my mind with anxiety, bitterness, and jealousy. Looking into a spiritual mirror when smothered with strongholds only shows the foggy, imperfect view your flesh wants you to see.
When you look at 1 Corinthians 13:12, you must read it in context, otherwise you will have a partial understanding of what it means as God intended. The verse is within the chapter covering love, and before 1 Corinthians 13:12, verse 11 speaks of putting away child-like behavior. Now, as an adult, that would not make sense as we are far from a child’s age, but we are children spiritually as we continue to mature.
Just as children do not understand why they have to have a consequence for bad behavior or why a negative emotion can stop them from moving forward in what they are to do, we as adults have the same reaction spiritually. Which, this makes it very difficult to comprehend or break away. If a child lies, a consequence is given to not only deter future lying, but to help the child learn to be an honest person as they grow up. As a mama, it is hard for when we have to give consequences when our children are just learning. But, if we do not step in, we are not helping them reach their potential that God desires for them.
The same thing for us applies- forgiveness is probably a touchy issue among our lives. When we don’t forgive right away, bitterness, anger, insecurity, or jealousy takes root into our inner beings without us knowing at first. And, over time, our strongholds become the very reason why we miss a blessed opportunity of growth- not the person or persons who we chose not to forgive.
As we look into our mirrors with unforgiveness in our hearts (or any other sin), we do not see clearly. But, as we let go of the burdens in our hearts, we mature into the person God created us in His will. We become free as we learn truth of ourselves rather than the “truth” we focused on as a Christian. It is not until we meet Jesus face to face that we will see clearly through God’s love for us and we are no longer exhibiting the child-like behavior Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 13:11. Through our maturity is when we learn to exhibit Christ-like behavior as we look into the mirror past our flesh seeing our hearts that God molded.
What you see in the mirror is far from what God desires for you to discover. What do you see when you look into the mirror? How can you see God’s love for you changing what that burden is in your heart?